Remembering Dad

If my Dad were still living we’d be celebrating his 98th birthday today. Sadly, we lost Dad to cancer in 2010. He celebrated his 86th birthday on the 9th and passed quietly on the 22nd.

Dad and Mom in 1943

Dad wasn’t always the easiest person to live with because he was set in his ways, but he did his best and provided us with a good life. He loved classical music, working on electronics and pie. Lemon meringue, blueberry, mincemeat and shoo-fly were his favorites. When offered pie or cake he always chose pie. He also loved visiting Lancaster several times a week in his retired years before moving to Florida.

I miss him and his phone calls that used to drive me up the wall. He was hard of hearing and refused to wear hearing aids so talking on the phone was difficult to say the least. I wish I had audio recordings of his voice. We do have two videos that my cousin found amongst her Mom’s VHS tapes. We have a recording of the recordings which is better than nothing. It’s why I shifted from still photography to videography when the kids and grandkids are here with us.

My uncle shot the video during my parents first Christmas in their little trailer home down in Florida. They eventually sold this one and purchased a larger mobile home a few years later. They lived there together until he passed in 2010. The home was old after Mom passed in 2017.

Dad wanted us to hold onto his ashes until Mom died so that they could be interred together at the Sarasota National Cemetery for veterans. We did that in February of 2018.

I’m grateful for everything he taught me especially the part about having no regrets. I got to spend a week with him just before he died, and we talked quite a bit. He loved Florida but he wished he’d spent more time with his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He wished he’d said, “I love you” more to all of us even though we all said we knew he loved us. Dad wasn’t the affectionate father, but we mark that down to his generation but mostly to the fact that he never felt loved when he was a kid.

If you don’t feel love, it’s hard to show love. It’s one of the things I worked hard to change when I had kids of my own.

My kids hear me say the words, they’ve heard me apologize for times when I wasn’t the greatest parent in the world and apologize for all the things they didn’t get when they were young. They may not have had new clothes and lots of toys but I made sure to tell them I love them. The fruits of that are already present because this family, our little band of goobers makes sure to say "I love you”, makes sure to show appreciation and hands out hugs all the time.

We grow on the foundation that our parents build for us and pray to God each day that it remains strong.

Love you Dad.

We’re having lemon meringue pie tonight on what would have been your 98th birthday.

peace