Another Holding Pattern
Holding patterns are still very much part of my life even though I have made progress. What is a life holding pattern? For me, it’s what happens to my mental state whenever something big is scheduled in my life.
Getting the roof done.
Having the pool resurfaced.
Going on a trip.
Hosting a family get-together.
That list is filled with normal, every-day events in the life of an adult right? Not for me. My brain handles them differently. For 1-2 days prior to a scheduled event, I enter my “holding pattern: much like that of an airplane that circles the airport waiting for clearance to land. Mentally, I shut down. Icoast through the days staring at TV or engaged in a book. Doing anything else like playing cards with the fam or even going to the grocery store takes a back seat. It has improved in the past 5 years or so. Now, I manage to get routine housework done during those couple of days and today I managed dishes, laundry, making breakfast sandwiches and preparing dinner. This holding pattern has lasted 2 days.
On Monday our roof got replaced. Yes, there was a holding pattern over the weekend. I went nowhere. I did nothing. Everything would have been back to normal except the crew that was set to replace the gutters on our home couldn’t be here. That part of the job is delayed until tomorrow. That is why I’m circling about failing to engage in anything. Can’t even work on crafty things. But like I mentioned, today was better than most. I managed to be semi-productive. +The roofing company called today and confirmed that the crew would be here tomorrow at 7:30 to finish up the work.
Tomorrow morning once they arrive, I’ll be back to normal and believe me I’m dying to get back to my creative projects. There’s a BBQ we’re hosting in August for a friend who will be visiting from Texas. He’s a co-worker turned friend of the oldest son. He became part of our family last year when we invited him to our home for the 4th of July. He’s fun and fits in so well with our crazy crew. I have my fingers crossed that he’ll move back here one day, because we miss him a bunch.
As for the holding patterns, who knows why I shut down. My mental health is important to me and that’s another benefit of having a blog and an analog journal. Keeping track of my moods, feelings and what triggers them has given me a lot of insight to well, me. It’s helped me acknowledge bad behaviors and alter them. My husband has also been a huge help with that as well. He knows me better than anyone. Our partnership is so grounded in mutual respect and love that we can discuss anything. Our friendship started online back before video calls were a thing. Then, turned into a long-distance romance. Talking was absolutely key to a successful relationship and we still talk.
When the pandemic stopped the world and his job moved to working from home, we actually missed our email conversations throughout the day. Having him home has been better but you of course, but I miss writing to him. Maybe that’s why I enjoy blogging so much. But eh, that’s a topic for another post.
Time to bring this day to a close with a good book and a glass or three of wine.
Peace,
B
